Pleasure Forward!

I tell patients ALL.THE.TIME

to “lower the bar”, aka lower their bar of expectations of themselves, of their partners, of their kids, coworkers, etc. I think that we expect too much of ourselves to be the “best” wife, mother, boss, employee, etc., and I think that we are happier when we give that idea up. People come in to the clinic and say “I’m so sorry that I didn’t do (A) or (B) that you told me to do." That’s my error, because I usually make sure that you only commit to whatever you feel like is A) important enough for you to do & B) fits into your busy schedule. Plus, it’s your choice to prioritize yourself over all of the other people and commitments that are in your life. I could go on….and on….and on…..

Pleasure is totally another matter!!! When I ask patients about where pleasure fits into their lives, it’s usually “my morning coffee,” a pedicure, or a monthly girls’ night out. SERIOUSLY???? You can do better than that. “Comfort” takes you from below average to normal. Comfort can be having a day with less pelvic pain, caffeinating yourself for your work day, or taking some much needed alone time. “Pleasure” takes you from normal to better.

Pleasure may look like stimulating conversation & intense eye contact with your partner. It could be your partner scratching your back or nibbling on your earlobe. It could be an incredible meal that you eat mindfully, slowly sipping a delicious wine, or eating a bite of a dessert that takes you back to a great memory. It could be self-pleasure with your fingers (go to omgyes.com for help) or a toy (shop local if you have the option!). Everyone is different, and everyone deserves pleasure! Play around (!!!) to find out what is pleasurable for YOU.